WOLF PACK FIRST BITE

Welcome to the Wolf Pack!

This is where change makers rise into the women they are meant to be.

If you believe that things need to shift—that the structures, habits and institutions of our culture must evolve—so that all beings can thrive, you’re in the right place. 

And if you yearn to be part of the solution, to have an impact, and to grow into your own vast potential, without sacrificing the good stuff, like joy, rest, connection and vibrant wellbeing, we’re here to help.  

The Wolf Pack is for women who want to enrich their lives and change the world through heart-centered leadership.

The Within Life Coaching Wolf Pack is a year-long select coaching group offering tools, fuel, and support for change makers. We cover a lot of ground in the full Wolf Pack year, but here’s the agenda in a nutshell: 

1. We start where we are with mindful awareness and no-judgment self-assessment.  
2. We build personal “compasses” and use all of the best coaching tools to see clearly and navigate our paths with confidence.
3. We connect with our most powerful inner resources—our deep wisdom, creativity, caring, and courage—to lead positive change. 

Like you, each member has unique skills and interests. Each has valuable life experience, expertise, and a voice to amplify. When we’re all on our own and busy, it’s easy to get stuck in the status quo, treading water and taking care of others. That’s why we have a Wolf Pack! As a group, we encourage each other, we believe in each other, and we keep growing forward.

This WOLF PACK “FIRST BITE” is a tasty sample of our tools and approach.

You can move through the following videos, meditations, and exercises at your own pace. They offer a way to envision and become your most powerful, joyful self while doing your most meaningful work.

Here is a PDF version of the WOLF PACK FIRST BITE for your written work. Or, you might choose to use a separate journal.

🐺🐺🐺🐺If you’d like to join the official year-long select coaching group, The Within Life Coaching Wolf Pack, please submit your application by August 15, 2020.🐺🐺🐺🐺

We start where we are. This is where we begin by establishing a broad and deep connection to the present moment using mindfulness meditation. Clarity is powerful.

TOOL – THE LAZY ANTHROPOLOGIST:

• Watch this video for an introduction to a Mindfulness of Thought meditation approach we’re calling the “Lazy Anthropologist.” The idea is to get to know your own mind by noticing and labeling your thoughts.
• Practice the “Lazy Anthropologist” meditation 5 minutes a day, for 5 days.
  Instructions:
  – Set a timer for 5 minutes. (The Insight Timer app is nice.)
  – Sit comfortably with a tall spine.
  – Choose an anchor point for your attention—the breath, your seat, sound…
  – Notice thoughts as they arise.
  – Mentally label what kind of thought you’ve noticed.
  – Return your attention to your chosen anchor point, and await the next thought to label.
  It is fine to do this process imperfectly. Try to maintain a friendly attitude towards yourself as you go.
• In the PDF or a separate journal, list some of the categories of thought that come up for you most frequently… 

planning, anticipating, daydreaming, dreading, worrying, remembering, regretting, replaying, problem solving, puzzling, analyzing, wanting, craving, fantasizing, judging, comparing, self-aggrandizing, self-deprecating, story-telling, narrating, rehearsing, wondering, questioning, doubting, affirming, praying, appreciating, bargaining, blaming, drifting, noticing…

• Nice job! You gain a great deal of power simply by bringing awareness to they way your thoughts habitually work. Once you notice what your thoughts are up to, you can use discernment to see whether those thoughts serve you or not. You can choose a different direction for your attention. You might switch from worry to gratitude, blaming to planning, or ruminating to presence. This is where positive change begins.

• Check out this video about wise ways to work with your thoughts. In it, I discuss “habitual thinking” and two tricky quirks of human psychology: the negativity bias and the confirmation bias. I also introduce the following Wolf Pack First Bite exercise called, “Disbelieving the Furies.” It’s designed to defang our most entrenched self-critical beliefs.
•  

Tool – Disbelieving The Furies:

For the purpose of this exercise, The Furies* are little characters inside your head that give voice to your most repetitive and convincing negative thoughts about yourself. With a name loosely lifted from ancient Greek tales of the underworld, The Furies represent a kind of personal mythology. They tell dramatic stories, but they are not “the truth.”

Our harshest and most limiting beliefs about ourselves are formed and fortified by the twin forces of the mind’s “negativity bias,” and “confirmation bias.” Those mental tendencies serve an evolutionary purpose by keeping us safe enough to reproduce, but they do not support things like happiness or personal fulfillment. 

We can take steps to address these biases. We can disprove our overblown self-criticisms and develop a more balanced view of our strengths and weaknesses. In doing so, we can build our confidence and resilience, so as to become bolder and more effective leaders of positive change. Here’s how:

• Name your Furies. What are the top three meanest things your thoughts have to say about you? (Too lazy? Not smart enough? Not organized? Not attractive enough? Too old? Too selfish?…)

• Now name the opposites of those negative judgments. (Industrious, active, intelligent, methodical, beautiful, not too old, generous…)

• Sit quietly and ask the wisest part of yourself to show you examples of times when you have exhibited these positive qualities. Start making long lists of evidence to disprove your Furies. Include every incidence you can think of that supports the case that you are in fact, the opposite of what those nasty Furies are always saying about you.
• Take your time with this process. You might even ask a friend to help. Chances are, you’ve spent decades ignoring this positive data because your confirmation bias has kept your attention focused solely on things that shore up your already established negative beliefs.

For example, if your Furies previously shouted “You’re too old!” all the time, you may have given a lot of attention to examples of young people having adventures, and to your own aches, pains and wrinkles. 

With a fresh list of evidence supporting the idea that you are “just the right age,” or “young enough,” your attention might be drawn to other people your age and older who have exciting lives. You may start saying, “I am just the right age to have this perspective to share.” Or, “I am just the right age to have the time and resources to learn a new skill.” Or, “I am just the right age to enjoy this wine without going overboard.” Or whatever. 

Continue to look for evidence to support your new and more empowering belief, even if that evidence seems weak or silly at first. Pretty soon, your mind will reshape itself accordingly, and your perceptions will shift. Once you’ve created this subtle, but meaningful transformation in yourself, your actions and experiences in the world around you will reflect the change. 

More evidence:

*Martha Beck uses the term, “The Furies,” to describe negative self judgments in her allegorical novel, DIANA HERSELF. In the musical, [title of show], the same undermining voices are called “vampires.” If you like saucy, irreverent musical theatre, check out “Die Vampire Die!” and sing along. Note: “[title of show]” with brackets and lowercase letters, is the actual title of the Broadway musical.

TOOL – PURPOSE COMPASS

Building your Purpose Compass is a way to clarify your own beliefs about big questions like, “Why are we here?” And, “What are we supposed to be doing?” 

As described in the video, we can address these daunting mysteries about meaning and purpose rather painlessly, using an easy journaling technique (the Quick Write) paired with a simple method of inquiry. These are described below…

• “Quick Write” write for 3-5 minutes without stopping, stream-of-consciousness-style. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or even making sense. Most writing is about communicating your thoughts to a reader, but a Quick Write exercise is a way of getting to know your own thoughts.
• 5 Whys – For a deeper understanding of what really matters to you, ask yourself why several times in a row.
• Succinctly summarize your answers on a card you can post somewhere visible in your home. You might tape it inside a drawer or on the back of cabinet door you use often.
• Use your compass to guide your choices about life and work.

The Purpose Compass is adapted from Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans.

Purpose Compass Examples:

“The purpose of life is the chance to participate in creation itself and experience joy.”

“The purpose of work is to motivate people towards adventure, discovery and connection.”

“The purpose of life is to grow in spirit, embody freedom, and to reduce suffering through service to fellow beings.”

“The purpose of work is to channel energy and intelligence productively, and to support one’s wellbeing.”

KEY QUESTION – WHO ARE YOU BECOMING?

Now that you’ve defanged your harshest inner-critic by Taming the Furies, and clarified your sense of what really matters by building your Purpose Compass, you’re in a good position to decide who you want to be as you continue to grow up.

The work of leading positive change begins right here, with you. Nobody else is responsible for seeing all that you are capable of becoming. No one will deliver the exact life of discovery and accomplishment that you crave to your door. You have to dream it up and put it in motion. 

This section of the Wolf Pack First Bite is meant to help you define and move towards the most inspired version of your future self that you can envision. During the Wolf Pack year, we add ways to support your success through mindset shifts, energetic alignment, creative problem solving tools, and the invaluable support and encouragement of the pack. 

So while it’s up to you to determine who you want to be, you don’t have to do it alone. 

Becoming a new title:

Sometimes the woman you’re becoming has a label, like a doctor, an entrepreneur, an activist, or an artist… If that’s the case for you, let’s add some vivid details. You are becoming a __________ who works how? With what kind of effect on others? Who offers what? And earns what?

For instance, “I am becoming a team manager, who communicates with clarity and kindness so that we can all enjoy delivering on our shared mission. My paycheck will reflect the the high value of my experience and commitment.”

Or, “I am becoming an author who writes regularly, even before I know what my full story will be, so that my skills are sharp and I’m ready to share something powerful when the time is right. My day job pays the bills for now.”

Other times you are growing into a new set of values or guiding principles without a specific job description.

“I am becoming a wise women, who follows her curiosity and leads with love.”

Or, “I am becoming more open and compassionate.”

Or, “I am becoming a well-rested, energetic woman who prioritizes self-care.”

Or, “I am becoming a peaceful warrior.”

Becoming unbreakable:

Maybe right now you’re becoming something you’re not thrilled about. Some unwelcome new responsibility or circumstance may have landed in your lap. If so, it still may be possible to add a spin that serves you:

“I am becoming a caregiver for my aging parents. I am becoming an end-of-life student who looks for beauty in the intimacy and vulnerability of this stage.”

Or, “My finances are falling short. I am becoming a bad-ass budget ninja who can do hard things. I will choose love over fear a million damn times in every way I can think of until we land on our feet.

Who are you becoming?

(7.5 minutes)

Soundcloud

YouTube

How can you support yourself to become the next amazing version of yourself? You are in charge of the one precious being fully entrusted to your care, and that’s you. How can you nurture, protect and invest in your own development?

What needs to happen now, so that you can grow into the full-powered change maker you are meant to be in the future?

Do you need to block-off study time? Get your family on board? Is it time to delegate busywork?

Take a look at this set of prompts for inspiration to write your own lists and plans. (Wolf Pack coaching can help you get your self-care routine and action steps up and running.)

What daily habits for self-care would support you? 

• Morning and bedtime routines
• Sleep
• Exercise for vibrant body and mind
• Medical and mental health care
• Nutrition to support energy and wellbeing
• Mindful/spiritual practice
• Social connection
• Fun activities that “fill your cup”
• Treats – simple pleasures to reward your courage and persistence 

What needs to go?

• Habits that sap your time and energy
• Relationships that bring you down
• Junky food, media, or clutter
• Clothes that don’t align with who you want to be
• Excuses
• Limiting beliefs

What skills do you need to develop?

• Public speaking
• Special subject knowledge
• Finance and investing
• Writing
• Resume/networking
• Technology/social media/podcasting
• Campaigning/governing/public service
• Specific career training
• Advanced degree…

Where might you find outside support and inspiration? 

• Photographers
• Investors
• YouTube
• Online classes
• Authors
• Professional organizers
• Publicists
• Therapists
• Librarians
• Clergy
• Elders
• Youth

Thank you for taking time to get to know your own thinking, clarify your values, and imagine the most compelling next chapter of your life. Everything here is meant to help you explore and strengthen your capacity as a change maker. This “First Bite” is just a taste of what we do in the Wolf Pack, but it can be quite substantial and meaningful. 

As you nurture your own personal and spiritual development, you can meet the larger needs of our global community as a powerful leader of positive change. We each have talents, skills and passions to share and an individual role to play in creating environments where everyone can thrive.  

I hope you’re inspired to keep going. Women’s heart-centered leadership has never been more necessary, nor has our opportunity to change the world been this immense. 

The key is to enjoy our beautiful lives and each other’s company while we do it!

Listen to the Wolf Pack origin story here. 

Find out more and apply to register here! Applications due August 15th, 2022, but earlier is better.

Space is limited. Your capacity to lead positive change is not.

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